People dance socially mostly for the pure joy of it. For the dancing enthusiast, nothing compares to the thrill of moving with grace and harmony to a beautiful piece of music with that wonderful partner of the moment.

But anyone who has ever been to a social dance notices that not everyone is having a good time, or at least not equally so. While some sit out many dances, others are constantly in demand. These fortunate dancers seem not only to have a great time, they also transfer their sense of joy to others around them. There is something about these individuals that transcends good looks and dancing skill. How do they do it? What are the personal qualities, habits, and skills that lead to success on the social dance floor? This article explores answers to these questions.

Success in a social activity requires awareness of accepted norms of behavior. The importance of dance etiquette to the social dancer can hardly be overstated. Etiquette is important everywhere, but especially in dancing, a delicate activity where unpleasantness has no place.

Dance communities tend to be fairly small, giving a nice self-enforcing characteristic to dance etiquette. Inconsiderate individuals may temporarily enjoy themselves at other dancers' expense. But they quickly develop a reputation, mostly unbeknownst to them, and become outcasts. A good reputation, as a considerate and enjoyable partner, is a social dancer's best asset.

The single biggest secret of success in social dancing is to make your partners happy. Once you succeed at this task, your popularity will soar and you will never have a shortage of willing and enthusiastic partners to dance with.

Realization of this fact is an important first step. Then, one needs to master the skills needed to actually implement this policy. There are many ways you can make your partner happy, among them:

No uncomfortable leads: Cranking your follower's arm to make her turn, pushing and pulling to bring her into position, and other forceful leads will not be appreciated. If she is not doing what you want, then probably your lead was not skillful enough. Unless you know a pattern well, do not execute it on dance floor. Keep it for classes and practice time, until you have mastered the pattern, then bring it on the dance floor. If the lead is good and the follower is still not following, again the leader is at fault, because he is leading a pattern too difficult for his follower.

No back-leading: When you ask or accept to follow someone in a dance, you implicitly agree to let them lead. While this doesn't mean you have to be a perfect follower, or even a particularly good one, it does mean that you should not try to lead them. It is disrespectful and disturbing to your partner when you steal the lead; you are rejecting their contribution to the partnership.

Protect your partner: For the leader this has two aspects. The first is floorcraft. Anticipate the movement of other dancers, and match your figures to empty spaces on the floor, so that you do not run your partner into other couples. Secondly, if there is imminent danger of collision, pull your partner close and turn, so that you absorb the blow. The follower can also protect her partner by keeping an eye out behind his back. If a couple is approaching from his blind spot, a small pressure on his shoulder or hand can warn him of possible collision.

Entertain your partner: You are there not only to have a good time yourself, but also to entertain your partner. This means, among other things, making him/her comfortable, dancing at a level that is enjoyable for both, and maintaining a good sense of humor if something goes wrong. If you are a perfectionist in your dance studies, leave it behind in social dancing. Own up to mistakes if yours, but do not dwell on them either way. Playfulness and lightheartedness in dancing also goes a long way. Look at your partner and smile Focus not on yourself, but on your partner.

Make your partner feel appreciated: The most popular dancers are not necessarily the most skillful, but rather the ones who make clear to each partner how much that person's company is appreciated and enjoyed. Most people would rather not dance with someone who acts bored or put upon, no matter how amazing their dancing is.

It is worthwhile to repeat once more the cardinal rule of social dancing: You are happy when your partner is happy.